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Fri, Mar. 9th, 2007, 09:54 am
tragnon: Homesick-sort of

Cross posted to a few places…sorry if you see doubles

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have"

Posted by a friend, possibly as a message to me, since it came up in our conversation about why I was a little bit down right now.

I am, once again, feeling the call of Iceland. It grows stronger every day.

It is not a want. It is a need. I am not discontent here, this has been my home for all my years. Yet a part of me lives there. It has since I first got off a plane there in 2000, and smelled the sulfur in the air. Feeling the energy of the earth around me. I felt plugged in, connected, and knew that I would return.

I did return, in December of 2000, a mere 6 months after my first trip. I had to experience the winter there. To know if the connection was as strong as I had originally felt. It was, and then some. My parents journeyed with me on that trip. We strayed from my original intent to just use busses and lounge in hot pools. A car was rented, and we shopped and did tourist things. But still, my connection grew. Once again, I knew I would return.

January of 2006, once again I returned. This time alone. I stayed, as I had planned on trip 2 in the Reykjavik City Hostel. I bought the bus pass, and traveled as a native. I explored the kaffi houses, the working waterfront, the flea market where people trade things that no longer serve them. I lounged in the pool next to the Hostel, knowing that I was enjoying not a pool for tourists, but one that is frequented by residents. The pool that an online friend of mine swims at frequently, as he is a resident, although he is originally from the Boston area. He has made it there. He lives in the land, and I don’t think he would turn back. I will return. Again.

The first two trips were taken without a critical piece of knowledge about myself. Between trips two and three, I found my birth mother. I found part of my lineage. I carry in my veins, the blood of Leif Eriksson, son of Erik the Red. The earliest traceable history of my blood, is Icelandic. Iceland to me is truly home. My spirit has been away far too long, and I knew that the first day I set foot in the land. So, I need to return. And on each return, the urgency fades, yet at the same time the connection grows. I describe the feeling as “homesick”, although I am speaking of a land that I have not lived in.

Feb of 2007, my plans fell apart. I was unable to travel this time. The call goes unanswered. I read the news from there daily, and the blogs of friends who are there. I wonder when I will be able to take the journey again, to the land of Fire and Ice.

Those of you who have ever wondered about the title of my Blog, “Which way is north”, this is why. I don’t need a compass or GPS to tell me, for I know. I am drawn that way. I hear the call. I NEED to answer. Not because I am discontent, but because I am missing a piece of the puzzle that is me.